I have been thinking a little bit about self-esteem and the way in which it can affect an individual. I have lately been experiencing a few ill feelings towards a few aspects of my life and thinking about the way in which I have been dealing with them. Before starting my exercise regime, I would have most likely let my emotions get the better of me and retreat in to my own private abyss, not talk to anyone or leave the house. Despite what is going on in my life of late, I have actually managed to not do this and I believe that my new-found health kick has to take the credit. After much thought, I have decided to identify the major problems that cause low self-esteem and how to better attack these issues to ensure that you do not become a recluse.
1. Self Hate:
Definition – anger and frustrated about the person you are and you cannot forgive yourself for even making small mistakes.
Cure – do not resign to becoming your own worst critic. No one is perfect so forgive yourself for making mistakes. Making mistakes means positive growth. Challenge yourself to prove the negative comments wrong.
Definition – living with a constant sense that you may fail because no matter how impressive the achievement, you always feel that you could have done much better.
Cure – set realistic expectations of yourself. Failing something you do does NOT mean you are a failure as a person. Try to focus on the big picture rather than nit-pick at the small details.
3. Poor body image:
Definition – can affect everything from how you behave in relationships to how you project yourself at work so as far as symbiotic relationships, this is a big issue.
Cure – avoid comparisons to others as it leads to heightened insecurities about yourself. Look after yourself with a healthy diet and exercise regime as it releases positive hormones throughout the body. Make an effort and take pride in your appearance.
4. Feeling worthless:
Definition – doubting ones ability to the point that a deep-rooted sense of worthlessness appears which makes you believe that you are not as valuable as other people.
Cure – accept that you have your own special talent that may be different to others and be proud of that talent. Do not take people’s opinion of you as the gospel as this will make you feel like they are better than you. Treat others the way that you want to be treated.
Definition – angered by criticism or you literally feel demolished by any comment that’s directed at you,
Cure – listen carefully to the criticism and decide for yourself if it is true or not. If the criticism is unfair, make sure you say that you disagree. If there is truth in the comment, learn from it rather than over-analysing it. Move on and don’t dwell on it.
6. Fear and anxiety:
Definition – the fear and a belief that you are powerless to change anything in your world.
Cure – distinguish the genuine fears and the unfounded ones by challenging your anxieties with facts. Face your fears.
Definition – you start to believe your own thoughts and feelings aren’t important to others which can causw repressed hurt and anger to build up, so something seemingly small can trigger outbursts of fury.
Cure – learn how to remain calm and do not let emotions boil under the surface until you explode. Remove yourself from the situation for a little while to breath and calm down. Do not over do it as this will only make your feel bitter when struggling to cope.
8. People pleasing:
Definition – feeling you have to please others so that they like, love and respect you and as a result you end up feeling aggrieved and used.
Cure – learn to say no as your self-worth is not determined by others approval. Be selfish on occasions and at least consider your feelings before others. Set limits on what you will do for others and this will alleviate any future resentment.
The sad thing about this list is that for a long time in my life, I actually did experience all of these symptoms of poor self-esteem. The truth of it is that when all of these symptoms are combined altogether within oneself, it not only hurts yourself but ends up extending to the relationships in your life. I have done some really stupid things over the years that have hurt a lot of people and all of which was because I struggled from low self-esteem.I hope some of you will find this post interesting and maybe some will find it helpful in turning their lives around.