Category Archives: saddening realities

The Lazy Style Making You Bigger

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Morning readers,

It is a phenomenon that has been going on for quite a while and I can tell you right now, it is getting worse. NOT-PANTS! People wearing tights or leggings as pants for reasons other than under dresses, under tunics, gym work-outs or to bed. They have become a fashion trend and what is worse is that the trend makes even the thinnest of people look ridiculous and a lot bigger than what they actually are.

I am not adverse to the Not-Pant. I do wear them but unless I was going to the gym, I certainly would not wear them in public. Unless I was wearing a long shirt which hung down lower than my crotch. No one wants to see my panty-line and I am 100 percent sure they do not want to see a camel toe.

I can understand the attraction to them, they are incredibly comfortable however, I guarantee you, you actually do not look as good as what you would with regular pants or jeans on. You may as well wear nothing if you feel as if you will attract the opposite sex in them.

All I can say is, thank god winter is over! Now you not-pant wearers can all run around without actual pants! Meanwhile, when it comes time for your winter clothing wardrobe clean out: please consider a removal of the not-pant for your next winter trend and go out an invest in a real pair of pants. I know that actual pants do cost more than the $10 Not-Pant price tag but you could always set up a charity. Sit out at your local shopping centre with a tin asking for people to donate so you can invest in real pants and do not have a Not-Pant Winter in 2012. I am pretty sure that within an hour, someone will buy you a pair of actual pants.

RANT OVER! TGIF! 

For more anti-Not-Pants Advocates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOqE0Exdq7M&feature=related

Much love,

Bing xxx

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The Sizing Issue: “But I am a 6, NOT a 10!”

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Morning readers,

Do you find that the clothing stores are making it extremely difficult for us to try on clothes? I have recently encountered a real issue at one of my favourite discount department stores lately. However, after much thought, you have to ask, is it the clothing stores or is it YOU?

About six weeks ago, I found this really nice pair of pants that were retailing at a quarter of the price. I had to have them but I had to try them on of course. I never buy anything without knowing it would fit. So, I took in two sizes: an 8 and a 10. Now, bear in mind that this was six weeks ago: I had not started my exercise or diet yet and I was quite aware of the fact I had put on a little bit of weight. Before the weight gain, I was a tiny size 6 so I had no issues taking in an 8 or a 10 to try on. However, I knew that I would most likely be the size 8.

To my utter surprise and almost shame, I couldn’t get the 8 up past my thighs. I was horrified. Was I really that chunky? I almost refused to buy the pants but for the price they were, I was stupid not to. Funnily enough, I had no problem getting the 10 up and to be honest, they were actually a little baggy. But they were comfortable and sometimes comfort is better than ego. Am I right?

Not all would agree with me. Some people I know will refuse to buy an item that isn’t ‘their size’. For example, you know you are a size 10, but when you try a top in a 10 on it is a little tight in the back and I guarantee you will say to yourself, “the top doesn’t fit so I will leave it”. You don’t buy the top. Instead you could have just tried on the next size up and found that it was more flattering and fitted your back much better. No, you can’t do that though! It is NOT your size!

The Huffington Post recently wrote an article addressing the issue of what I call ‘Size Vanity’.  It spoke of the way in which fashion editors actually cut the sizing tags off the designer clothing so that those ‘Size Vain’ celebrities won’t snigger if they have to try on a Vera Wang gown in a size 10 when they are “actually a size 8”. I am not kidding, these people will actually refuse to wear designer if the clothing is not their size. Celebrities really are just normal human beings after all!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-stir/celebrity-dress-size-secret_b_858234.html

I have come to the realisation that I am not going to fit in to the one size. All clothing stores are different and brands are different too. I do take in more than one size of a particular item. I don’t care if the 8 looks better than the 6. If I look better in it then that is great. No one is going to come up to me at a nightclub and say, “Oh! I love your dress! Is that a size 6?” The only time people will notice what size you are is if you haven’t cut the tags off the clothing and the tag happens to be hanging out for all the world to see.

Interestingly enough, I went in to the changing room about three weeks ago to try on another pair of pants from the store I bought the size 10 pair. I knew I had lost a little bit of weight so I took in a size 6, 8 and a 10. I tried on the 10: almost fell off me. Tried on the 8: fitted fine but a bit baggy in the butt. Tried on the 6: perfect!!! Were even a bit loose. That was the same store but a different style of pant!

Moral of the story: do not give in to ‘Size Vanity’. Do not accept you are one size only and that you will refuse to buy an item if that size doesn’t fit. Accept that clothing sizing can vary from store to store, brand to brand, style to style. CUT YOUR TAGS OFF!

Much love,

Bing xxx

The Pledge

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Don’t Bash the Loving Out of Me

A poem by Maureen Watson

 

The party’s over and I sit here waiting,

For you to come thru that door

And my guts are tied up in knots inside,

And we’ll go thru it all once more.

If there’s any female Gods up there

Why can’t they make you see

You’re bashing you head against a brick wall

Bashing the loving out of me.

The good times don’t make up for the bad

In the beginning I thought they could,

Sure we had our fights and arguments

But the making up was good.

And life was a game till the babies came

Then more pressure and jealousy

And you lash out in your frustration

And you bash the loving out of me.

Oh, you cry to me after, and you swear you’ll change

And you beg me not to leave you

But it builds up and then, we go thru it again

So how can I believe you.

I turn away from the fear in my babies eyes

That everyone but you can see

You kill a child’s pride in her

Daddy While you bash the loving out of me.

Some people have to fight from the day we’re born

But its us women who are black and blue

Praps its our love gives us strength to carry on

Like the love I have for you.

But I live sick inside with the waiting

For the violence I dread will break thru

And don’t ever think I’m not pushed to the brink

But I don’t bash the loving out of you.

Your enemy is inside you,

Deeps wounds fester where you can’t see

Well take them out of there, confront them

Don’t bash the loving out of me.

I’m tired of making excuses for the things you do

I’m tired of carrying the guiklt and the blame

You’ve got to be able to front up to yourself

To own your violence, your shame,

I know the day will come that I have to leave

I only hope that they you’ll see

And as time goes by, I know we’ll both cry

Cos you bashed the loving out of me.

 

Maureen has now passed away and permission to use this poem was given by her son.

Make a pledge to end the silence on violence against women today: http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/myoath#swear-form.

 

Real men should swear…

Swear never to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.

Please support White Ribbon Day today to bring to light the cycle of physical abuse that happens against women.

The reality is that anyone in your life maybe experiencing violence towards them and you wouldn’t know. These people need our help to find their voice to fight back.

 

Much love,

Bing xxx

 
 

The Bikini Body Disorder

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Morning readers,

As the termperatures begin to sore in the west of Australia, the need to keep cool is paramount. Lucky we have some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world to cool our little tails. There is nothing better than heading down to the beach, playing some cricket, jumping off jetties and indulging on some fish and chips on the white sand. However, while this seems all well and good, there is one issue that many of us have to deal with before we can even consider stripping off to bathe in the sparkeling waters (besides the Great White issue): the need for the perfect bikini body.

Some of the U.S. magazines and health journals have been reporting on the ‘Bikini Body Disorder’ for quite a while now and while I actually hadn’t heard the term before I did some research. I think it is true that many people in the Western world do in fact suffer from the syndrome that obsesses over having the perfect beach body. Our magazines, particularly my ‘favourite’, Who Magazine, have cover spreads announcing the best celebrity bikini bodies and love to give you diet and exercise regimes in order to achieve the look.

 

The Online Medical Dictionary has a definition for the obsessive disorder: Bikini Body Disorder: An ad hoc term for the female obsession with weight loss and the drive to recapture the svelte ‘bikini body’ of youth.

So with medical journals reporting on it, you actually have to think is it an actual worry?

 

U.S. People Magazine (the Yank version of Who) did an article a couple of years ago on the over-40 bikini body. The editors were chuffed with themselves, placing a bikini clad 48 year old Valerie Bertinelli on the cover announcing “My bikini body at 48: how I did it and the fact I can’t believe I did it!” After reading through the article, you can tell how she did it…cutting down to toddler intake calories and a damn sophisticated eating disorder: one which prompts you to look in the mirror and focus on your ‘jiggly bits’ (I am not sure she realises that women actually have boobs!). The woman wasn’t even happy with a toned 60kg so she practically starved herself down to 55kg just to do the photoshoot. Was it a positive weight-loss journey story? No, it just reconfirmed the obsession of dieting at all costs, even unhealthy costs, in order to fit into that little cossie.

http://news.change.org/stories/valerie-bertinelli-and-the-bikini-body-disorder

As I researched more on the disorder, I was again directed towards the pro-thin/pro-anorexia webpages that I mentioned  in my ‘The Thinspiration’ post (https://bingistryingtogetthin.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/day-two-the-thinspiration/). Is a healthy diet and regular exercise enough for an amazing bikini body that you can be proud to show off? It should be and I know that when I put on my little bikini yesterday, I felt comfortable even though I was only walking around my house. If people were so worried about their ‘jiggly bits’ in a swim-suit, there is no way any of us would leave the house to indulge in the beach or other summer activities. I can guarantee you, I am not sitting on the sand judging everyone for not sticking to a solid three month spring regime to get December 1 beach body ready…I don’t have the time or the care, I just want to cool myself down.

 

Much love,

Bing xxx

 

The Eleventh Hour

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Readers, I am not going to be conceited today and talk about myself but I thought given the significance of the day, I would like to tap into my other love in life…history. Being Remembrance Day, I think it is important for the Y-Generation (and ALL generations following the Great War) to appreciate the individuals that partook and endured the horrors of war in the hope that we would be here. More than three generations on, we are here and we are free just as they had intended us to be when they boarded the military ships bound for the European and Middle Eastern front lines.

We can talk about sacrifice. Sacrificing our love of certain foods or alcohol to stay healthy or to lose weight. However, I doubt many of us can discuss true sacrifice. Fudging our birth certificates to say that we are eighteen years old when in fact we are only fourteen just so we can feel like a man and fight the good fight for King, country and the rights to be free. Parting with loved ones who we may never see again to fight for the greater good of the nation…its future depending upon us to rise to the challenge and against all odds, triumph. Sacrificing your youth and quite possibly more in the hope that future generations could live a better life. That is true sacrifice.

In Flanders Fields

John McCrae

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place: and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

WE SHALL NOT SLEEP,

THOUGH POPPIES GROW

IN FLANDERS FIELDS.

We will remember them.

Much love,

Bing xxx

The Post That Struck the Wrong Chord

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It would seem that my blog had quite a bit of attention yesterday, particularly the ‘Thinspiration’ post. So I decided to extend to you one last pro-anorexic blog that I found. If you want to see anorexia from another’s point of view, I urge you to read this but be prepared to be both heartbroken.

http://anaregzig.blogspot.com/

DYING TO BE THIN: a pro-Ana blog

“For every image I get of someone saying, “You are perfect just the way you
are!” there are at least 100 images saying, “You are not good enough, thin
enough, pretty enough, and you’ll never achieve success in your present state of
being.””

It breaks my heart. Another person wasting their life: wasting away in to unrecognizable oblivion as they try to reach an unobtainable and warped happiness.

The Thinspiration

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So I did a bit of research yesterday after reading over my first post. Retrospectively, I was a little concerned about my posting about anorexia. I realised that I might have sounded a little unhinged being worried that I wasn’t 45kg. I need to set this straight for my own piece of mind.

In 2009, when I went to Europe, I looked like this:

Now looking at this photograph, I notice two things and I remember two things. Firstly, I notice that while I am not stick insect thin, I am probably the thinnest I have ever been. But then I remember what context this photograph was taken: I was working a highly physical job, I was going to the gym four times a week for an hour, I was highly stressed due to the amount of planning surrounding the trip and that I had also been hospitalised just before flying out because of an ovarian cyst which had caused me nausea. Secondly, I notice the skinny arm pose and how it can give away a lot in terms of how thin you actually are. Then I remember my actual mental state at the time this photograph was taken and it was that I had these disgusting thoughts in my head that I was actually fat.

I remember other people in my life at the time. One person, who I actually didn’t like very much but impacted on my life greatly in terms of my eating disorder (yes, I call it an eating disorder because mentally, I was unhinged about my body), was a close family member of a dear friend. When I saw this person or photographs of them, it would always inspire me to get thinner. These are some of the ‘thinspirational’ photographs:

Not exactly realistic was I? Just goes to show the way in which your mind becomes warped when you have this kind of disorder. I was trying to be as thin or thinner than a girl who was much taller than I was and who had a totally different body type. It is hard to admit but I was literally obsessed with being as thin as this girl. It was only until about a year later that I realised that this girl herself was struggling from a similar eating disorder. She over exercised, she survived on a strict diet of shakes or liquid food only and would binge heavily on a whole packet of Tim Tams. As a result she suffered from low iron for which she had to have injections, would get ill all the time and appeared to be incredibly moody all the time. It was a really stupid role model to have.

But as I sat here yesterday doing research on anorexia and other eating disorders, I came across this site: http://www.prettythin.com/ – Pretty Thin: The Worlds Largest Eating Disorder Community. I could not believe my eyes…I had heard of pro-thin web pages but did not realise it was this extensive or disturbing. To quote the page:

“At a certain weight, which is different for everyone, you will lose your period. This is a good thing because it means that you’re losing weight. Still, it would be wise if you’d take calcium supplements, if you don’t already. Don’t let your mother find out about your lost period because she will most likely take you to the doctor. Never under any circumstances tell a doctor that you’ve lost your period. They will have you in an eating disorder clinic faster than you can say “What the hell?”. Before you go to the doctor’s, make sure that you have a date to tell them in case they ask about your last period, and make sure the date is believable.”

AND

“As you lose weight, your skin will become dry and sallow and it will heal slowly. Make sure that you use LOTS of lotion where it is needed and take a multivitamin. If you lose enough weight, your body will develop lanugo, which is a very fine downy hair that covers your body. It can easily be removed with a mild depilatory followed by hydrocortisone cream.”

ANOTHER

“Your hair and nails will suffer do to lack of suffiecient protein. Use volumizing shampoo and lots of conditioner to keep hair full and shiny. If you lose enough, eventually your hair will fall out. Sad, but true. Try to keep from pulling at the roots of your hair. Always put hair in loose ponytails instead of tight ones. Also, keep your nails polished. Low circulation to your fingertips make your nails turn blue and that’s a thing doctors look for.”

The site is literally giving beauty tips for young girls to fool their parents that they do not have an eating disorder. The site goes on to show photographs of celebrities and models who are deemed ‘thinspirational’. Women like Victoria Beckham, Mary Kate Olsen and Nicole Ritchie who are all well renowned eating disorder sufferers. THIS IS INSANE!

But it made me realised my own youth which I spent trying to be like someone else and the ultimate realisation that even if I got that thin, I wouldn’t be happy because the eating disorder would have already eaten away at my sanity. I will admit, that I am not totally recovered from the disorder and there is always days where I absolutely hate the way I look and refuse to eat for a few hours. But, I know that I am better because I am being proactive, setting myself goals and EATING! I am also not looking at other people wishing I was like them because after all, who is to say that they are really that happy within themselves?

Much love,

Bing xxx